Motherhood: It’s Hard As Hell

Motherhood: It’s hard as hell

No matter how many kids you have, how far apart they are in age, how they came into the world, or how you raise them, there is one thing that remains true: motherhood is hard as hell. If you are in it, you already know this. If you are going to be in it soon, also know that it is the most insane love you have ever felt (it is like your heart is living outside of your body), so it’s okay to keep reading.

I think it is incredibly hard for two reasons: you have less time and you have an extension of yourself to worry about. 

You have less time for yourself and less time to foster relationships. 

Of course you have less time for yourself because you are literally keeping other human beings alive. But sometimes that really hits me when I can’t just go for a walk (by myself) when I please or do anything with spontaneity. There is also less time to foster relationships with your friends. There are broken conversations and lots of “we really need to get together soon, for real.” 

But let me tell you. When the skies open up and you DO have time for yourself, even just five minutes, you appreciate it a lot more. And one wine night with friends gives you life. A phone call catch-up on your commute home with a close friend makes you feel like your own person and not just a mom. 

You have an extension of yourself to worry about

Okay so take yourself back to college. When you thought to yourself “What do I want to do with my life? Who do I want to be?” Now take that sensation of the unknown and multiply it by however many children you have. Even if they are babies or toddlers, we always wonder what their personalities will be like. Will they be kind? Will they do well in school? How can I help them learn to be a good friend? Will they stay close with their siblings like I really hope they will? No wonder why we are so tired - all this thinking and wondering can get a little exhausting. 

But I was given the advice to show my kids how to be good people. You don’t have to tell them, you just have to show them. And when you do this, they will excel in whatever it is that they are meant to. They will grow and learn to form relationships in the best way that they know how. 

When your kids are melting down and you are over stimulated and tired, please remember that motherhood is hard as hell - for everybody. And also remember that the moments of silence you are hoping for will come, and you will appreciate them that much more. And your kids will turn out just fine. You don’t have to soak up every moment because all of the good moments will live in your mind forever and the harder moments will be laughable or become teaching points years down the road.